By JAMES MELVILLE Hey, disembodied voice, guess what? What, James? You’ve become a reoccurring character in this column! Wow, does this mean I’ll get paid? Not likely, man. I mean, I do most of the work around here. Pretty much all of it, actually. Touché, sir. Touché. 3:10 to Yuma (2007): The Plot: Dan Evans [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE Hey, James. Yeah, disembodied voice? You know what’s worse than the Holocaust? Uh…not much, man. No, stupid. That orange fence on the quad for Springfest. Dude. What? That’s really offensive. But it’s taking our freeeeeddddooooommmsssss. That’s what you sound like when you complain about minor inconveniences to your Sacred Day of Getting [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE Do people actually read these introductions, or do they just skip to the review? If you’re reading this, clap your hands and say “I do believe in intros. Also, James Melville is super handsome and cool. When I grow up, I want to be just like him.” I probably won’t hear you, [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE Something relevant! Ha. Classic misdirection. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call–New Orleans (2009): Plot: After injuring his back when rescuing a convict (Nick Gomez) caught in a flood after Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans detective Terence McDonagh (Nicolas Cage) gets promoted to Lieutenant. Six months later, he’s addicted to any kind of drug that [...]
