November 3, 2009 pacome07 No Comments
Boot and Paddle, your handy guide to syntax, grammar, structure, punctuation and syntactical inebriation configuration!
Fellow students,
Tremble and behold the new power I have received! I am no mere magician; I am a Sorcerer of the tenth class, a Sage of unquestionable skill, and a Philosopher of renowned remark. Using technologies so far ahead of their time they are deemed unholy, I have stumbled across the most necromantic and spiritually revolutionary word-processing application. I have deemed it the “Thesaurus” for it is a dinosaur, nay, The Dinosaur of lizard-like word changes. The modern chameleon can change the color of its skin to match its surroundings; this dinosaur helps to change words to fit their situations, using the process of synonating. Allow me to prove the sheer power of my discovery, see what happens when simple sentences are greatly improved:
“John, I simply don’t love you anymore,” whispered Allison, as she walked away.
“John, I minimally don’t be keen on you to any further extent,” crooned Allison, seeing that she sauntered not here.
Or how about this,
In reality, we all plagiarize every time we talk or even think. We are always using someone else’s words.
During actuality, we every one, use illegally each era the purpose of we natter, or else constant assume. We be forever via a name else’s lexis.
I assure you, my professors love my papers now! Why just yesterday, one even wrote, “This is the most awful use of language I’ve seen in my entire life!” [Emphasis ADDED!] You can imagine how flattered I was… I have never been told that my writing induced awe, or wonder, or admiration before! My glorious verbosity now verified, I encourage everyone to replace as many words as possible with this great device. I personally guarantee better grades on your papers, easier sentences to read, and a personal high-five the next time I see you. All you must do is synonymate with the Thesaurus.
Encompass a fabulous week, in addition to crafting secure choices and pleasure pro-Halloween.