By NICOLAS SIRIANNO
Hey bro, can I borrow some bronzer? Hot damn! What a week it has been! Everyone on campus is tan regardless of where they spent their Spring break. Whether you went home and played with your dog, spent it with your grandmother at her retirement complex in Florida, went sailing down in the Bahamas, or skied Tuckerman Ravine you got a nice hot tan. Skin is feeling great, and people are on the prowl. The grass is green and dry enough to lay a blanket down and read, the air is warm enough to go shirtless, and the sun is hot enough to convince teachers to take their classes outside. This is by far the nicest stretch of weather I have ever seen in March. Who wants to go to class during days like this? I thought after a week of spring skiing I’d come back to classic North Country weather—cold, wet, and muddy. Well, I’ve been fooled. We all have. What is going on with this weather? Why doesn’t my cell phone work? Will the weather stay this nice? We must pump the breaks and ask ourselves what is going on. Why is everyone so happy this week? What natural phenomenon is taking hold of our atmosphere, and bringing record high weather systems to Canton, NY? Well, the man that we can thank for all of this is Mr. Solar Storm of 2012.
Picture this, the oven is on, and there is a wonderful cherry pie baking. All of a sudden the cherries begin to explode and cherry particles are shooting at speeds so fast they blast open the oven door and shoot into your house. The particles don’t burn, and are so hot that they are heating your house. This scenario is similar to what happens during a solar storm. The sun gets so hot it shoots fiery balls of particles into space; the particles are charged enough to follow earth’s magnetic pull and penetrate the ozone layer. Once in the atmosphere the charged particles wreak havoc on anything electronic. If you have been wondering why cell phones have been acting weird, now you know. The solar storm attacked cell phone towers all over the world and disrupted connectivity between cell phone and cell phone tower. The solar storms are expected to end on Friday, and the weather is going to slowly shift back into normal spring North Country weather.
Y’all better get your tan on before it gets too late.
On another note, the Outing Club went on three epic spring break trips. One trip went down to Kentucky to go climbing at the famous Red River Gorge, another group hiked 71 miles along the Virginia portion of the Appalachian Trail, and the final group went backcountry skiing in the Adirondacks, and the White mountains of New Hampshire. Over thirty members outside of the house joined the Outing Club leaders for seven days of backcountry goodness. Some highlights include Sam Hecklau catching an opossum with a lasso made of floss, Ilka Hadlock schussing the headwall of Tuckerman ravine to stop an out of control first timer from smashing into the rocks, and Ben Breckenridge solo climbing a 160 foot high cliff to save a baby snake from falling. These heroic acts might sound uncommon but they are all actually common occurrences in the world of extreme adventure. Look for updates on SLUwire if you want to have the best spring of your life!