By JAMES MELVILLE I’m really hoping that by the time you guys read this, it’ll be less than 80 f*cking degrees outside. Yeah, I’m that guy. 21 Jump Street (2012): Plot: Two ridiculously immature cops, Jenko (Channing Tatum) and Schmidt (Jonah Hill) are given an undercover assignment in a high school. Their mission is to [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!* Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012): The plot: Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage), a.k.a. Ghost Rider, is cursed to seek out evil and destroy it, which he can only do when he’s in the form of a flaming, leather-clad skeleton. Since the Ghost Rider part of him interprets “evil doers” as “pretty [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE We’re three weeks into the semester. No, wait. Four? I don’t know anymore. All time has faded away in this haze of caffeine and inconsistent weather. I waded through an ocean of surrealist clocks on my way to class this morning. Note to self: look out window before choosing footwear. Ed Wood [...]
By JAMES MELVILLE My, oh my, I do believe the time has come. What time? No, not Hammer Time. It’s never Hammer Time. Not with that attitude, it isn’t. No, I’m talking about finals week. Papers, exams, portfolios, frenzied battles to the death. Feeling stressed? Believe me, I would sympathize if I weren’t so caught [...]
